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When the Pain is Loud, Prayer is Louder!

Sonia McLeod

“But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” — Luke 22:32

I want to encourage wives and moms. Are you experiencing pain? Have you been wounded? Is the hurt unbearable? I was there. But I want to tell you that there is a way through the pain and hurt you are feeling. I didn’t understand it until we hit rock bottom, until everything fell apart. That’s when I began to learn this incredible truth: whether it’s our salvation, whether it’s our prodigal children coming back, whether it’s our marriage being restored — whatever it is — it has to be the Lord who brings life. It has to be the Lord who restores. It has to be the Lord who makes things whole.

All of our solutions, promises and strategies without Him, will have only temporary effects. They will not last. They might look good for a moment, but they won’t hold up when the real pressure hits. And I know this, because I lived it.

When my husband revealed to me that he was struggling with pornography, I was devastated. I wanted it out of the marriage. I wanted out. I was heartbroken. I was angry. I was done. But in that pain, God began to show me something.

This is where so many of us moms and wives are. When we’re bitter, angry and struggling to forgive, our pain becomes a lens. Bitterness becomes a lens. Hurt becomes a lens. We begin to see everything through those lenses. Everything becomes marked by that pain. We can’t just hear a conversation; we hear it through hurt. We can’t just respond; we respond through offense. And it becomes so hard to hear God in the midst of all of that, because the pain is loud.

The enemy loves it when we stay there. He loves it when we hold onto the bitterness and unforgiveness. He loves it when we can’t release the pain, because then we’re trapped. We’re being dragged around by it.

It was this that the Lord began to reveal to me. Not to shame me, but to free me. Because the truth is, we are powerless to change anything on our own. We can’t fix hearts. We can’t fix addiction. We can’t fix a marriage with a hardened heart. We can’t fix betrayal with anger. We need the Lord.

I’ll never forget the day I pulled over to the side of the road to pray. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. But all I could see was the devastation in my home and marriage. I needed to cry out to God at that moment. I wasn’t trying to be dramatic, I was desperate. And then He showed me something.

He showed me darkness that was moving menacingly like billowing clouds toward me. He showed me how the enemy wanted to bring everything down and to destroy my life. Not only my life, but my children’s lives. The enemy wasn’t playing around. His intent was to destroy everything God had purpose for.

But God also showed me this: because I was praying, because I was holding onto His Word, God held it all back. He showed me how powerful His Word is. That His Word has authority. That His Word is not just something we post or think about, it’s something we can stand on. It’s something we fight with. It’s something heaven responds to.

And still, even with that, I could see I was being dragged around by the hardness of my own heart. And that hardness, if unchecked, will destroy everything. Because bitterness does not just sit quietly in a corner. It spreads. It changes you. It affects how you see. How you talk. How you love. How you parent. How you pray.

And I’m telling you, if I had just allowed the enemy to have his way, he would’ve destroyed everything.

But when we surrender to God’s plans and do what He asks, things begin to shift. And yes, sometimes what He asks is hard. Sometimes what He asks feels impossible. He asks us to love our husbands. Love our children. Love people where they are. Forgive. Release. Pray. Trust Him.

And we cannot do this without going into the presence of God. We can’t do this without Him. We can’t do this by trying harder. It has to be all Him.

But when we run to God and we say, “Lord, it is You. I need You to move. Help me. Give me the grace to do what I can’t do,” He will answer with power and authority. And He will begin to change and move the circumstances in your life.

The pain is real. The betrayal is real. The heartbreak is real. These things are all real.

But they have to be handed over to the Lord because the enemy can use those things. We serve a sovereign God, but we have to get out of His way so He can move. We have to trust God no matter what.